“Your
honor, I swear to you on my honor as a member of The Bar, that the
events before you are nothing more than a simple misunderstanding
that grew out of control. My client is innocent of any shenanigans.
He simply wanted a sandwich from the best deli in town on the
freshest pumpernickel in three counties. Not an unreasonable request
but a strong desire we have all had at one point or another in our
lives.”
With
the screech of wood on wood, the lawyers pulls his chair back and
sits down next to his client. The judge's gaze moves between him and
the team of lawyers seated at the opposing table. Seated on her
bench, this adjudicator could not bring herself to believe that a
simple kerfuffle would require such a strong show of corporate force
against a single patron.
With
a nod to the legal show of force, the judge says, “You may now call
your first witness. This is a simple case. If we don't lollygag and
keep the malarkey to a minimum, then we can be done by lunch, dinner
at the latest.”
The
gaggle of lawyers look at one another then turn to focus on the man
wearing the simplest suit among them. He rises, adjusts his coat,
and steps around the table to address the judge. He speaks in a soft
voice that carries throughout the courtroom so that nobody has to
strain to hear him.
“Thank
you your honor. We would like to call to the stand the manager of
the deli, a Ms. Clarence Johnson.”
A
bailiff calls out the door and then holds it open as a woman in a
blue pantsuit strides in. She confidently walks up to the witness
stand, sits down, and swears to tell the truth without a single
pause. Her motions and speech full of confidence and pride.
The
lawyer addresses the witness, “Ms. Johnson, can you please tell us
what lead to the brouhaha that brings us here today?”
Ms.
Johnson's eyes travel around the people in the courtroom, appearing
to get the feel for her audience before she speaks. She glares at
the single lawyer and his client and begins her testimony. Her voice
is commanding and sharp enough that more than one person in the back
cringes at her words.
“Your
honor, it was a typical day at my business. I operate a deli
downtown that is well known for its flavored meats and fresh breads.
On the day in question the guy at the table over there entered my
establishment appearing completely discombobulated and disheveled.
The cashier working the front counter thought he appeared unsavory
and requested I handle him before he reached the counter. Not
wanting to put my employee through a potentially traumatic
experience, I willingly stepped forward.
“The
guy stumbled up to the counter and began to spout some gibberish. I
calmly asked him what he wanted to order. He started getting louder
and more belligerent. I maintained my composure and became
flabbergasted when he started cursing at me and using profanities
that were not appropriate for the environment of my family
establishment. My confusion continued when he lunged at me and
grabbed my blouse.
“It
was at that point that I called to one of my employees in the back
and asked them to contact the police. I then turned back to the guy
and suggested he skedaddle before the officers arrived. He became
erratic and started wildly gesticulating. He then proceeded to yell
and scream at everyone in the dining area and wildly stomping towards
the door. One of his feet caught a chair attached to the floor and
fell. Before anyone could reach out to assist him up, the guy
reached out to a promotional sign to pull himself to his feet. The
frame was unable to hold his weight and it toppled on top of him as
he fell a second time. He then stood up and lifted the frame from
the floor. The sign was completely cattywampus in the frame. The
guy staggered out the door before the police arrived.”
The
charming corporate lawyer leans against the wall surrounding the
witness stand. He looks out at the judge, his fellow legal team, the
opposition, and the audience.
“Ms.
Johnson, is that the last you heard from the gentleman that created
such a disturbance in the deli?”
The
witness shakes her head, causing the managed curls at the end of her
bob haircut to bounce.
“No,
not at all. About 18 days later I received a phone call from a law
firm informing me that the deli was being sued for the medical costs
incurred by the guy during the incident.”
The
comfortably arrogant corporate lawyer struts back to his table and
asks one final question with his back to the witness, as though
asking it to the room at large. “What would paying those bill mean
to the deli?”
Ms.
Johnson sniffled slightly and pulled a convenient tissue from her
sleeve cuff to dab at her eye. “The immediate costs would impact
my plans for an expansion and damage investments in the employee
retirement fund. If there were future medical payments required, it
could eventually mean the shutdown of the deli itself.”
Another
screech of wood on wood as the leader of the legal team sits down.
“That is all I have for this witness.”
The
judge looks from one lawyer to the Ms. Johnson and then to the single
lawyer with his client. “Do you wish to cross-examine this
witness?”
Without
a sound, the solo lawyer stands up and adjusts his jacket. “Yes
your honor, I do have some questions for this witness.”
He
walks to the middle of the courtroom and stands with his hands cross
in front of his waist. He turns his head slightly to look directly
at Ms. Johnson. His eyes focusing into hers as he speaks. “You
talked about the deli being your business, the employees being your
employees, your plans for expansion. Do you own the Riverside Deli
where this incident took place?”
From
the opposing table one of the junior lawyers calls out. “Objection!
The ownership of the deli has no relevance to this matter. It has
no bearing on the circumstances of this case.”
The
judge looks at the lawyer standing in the middle of the room before
her. Without waiting for a question the lawyer responds. “The
question has bearing on the validity of the witness's character and
the accuracy of her statements about my client and the events that
occurred.”
The
judge nods, “I will give you some latitude but you must make it
relevant quickly. Ms. Johnson, please answer the question.”
Ms.
Johnson's voice is still strong but some of the confidence is gone
from her tone. “ I don't own the deli, but I do manage it on
behalf of the Miltons. In order to do my job effectively I have to
consider every part of that business as mine. Every dollar in and
out as though it comes from my personal wallet. Every employee is a
member of my own family. That is how I manage the deli in order to
make it the best possible business it can be.”
The
lawyer stands still as he ponders the answer to his question. After
a handful of heartbeats he asks another. “Did you plan on leaving
court today feeling like you have bamboozled everyone here?”
Ms.
Johnson blinks and all self confidence leaves her face. “I'm not
sure I know what you mean.”
“Any
manager that invests themselves that much into operating a business
owned by someone else would have to be a total nincompoop to not be
aware of security cameras and their recordings.”
“When
the police arrived we tried to look at the security footage.
Something had corrupted the data and the video files were
unrecoverable.”
The
lawyer uncrosses his hands and places them behind his back. “Yes,
the original security surveillance system did seem to have some odd
occasions of corrupted data. That is why the owners, George and Liza
Milton, installed a new wireless surveillance system they could
monitor and record from anywhere, including their home. The same
home they were sitting in when they happened to hear their beloved
deli mentioned on the police scanner they have in the living room.”
The
lawyer raises his hand and signals to one of the bailiffs. A large
screen is rolled in with a DVD player and other electronic devices
hooked up. The single lawyer pulls a flash drive out of his pocket
and inserts it into a port on the DVD player. “Your honor, I would
like to enter the following video recording into evidence.”
The
judge nods and the lawyer presses the buttons required to play the
surveillance recording. Multiple views from multiple cameras appear
on the screen. Overhead angles of the deli's cashier stations,
dining room, kitchen area, and manager's office. The unmistakable
figure of Ms. Johnson can be seen sitting in the manager's office
doing something on her smartphone. There are a few people in the
dining room with all three people placing orders and others lined up
behind them. The lawyer pauses the video and addresses the judge.
“This
is mere seconds before my client enters the establishment. Please
keep in mind the testimony that Ms. Johnson just gave regarding the
actions of my client and her responses.”
All
color and confidence flows from the witness's face as the video
restarts and everyone on the screen unfreezes. A single figure,
dressed differently than he is in the courtroom but recognizable,
enters the deli and walks towards the cashier. He calmly and quietly
steps in line behind a woman with a bulbous bouffant and a child
standing next to her. The mother was paying more attention to her
phone than the child.
The
child can be seen looking up at its inattentive mother, then to the
cashiers busy assisting other customers, and finally at the man now
standing at the end of the line. The child glances to check his
mother's view one more time. In one fluid motion the child balls up
a fist, turns, and lands a blow in the patiently waiting man's groin.
A
cashier had looked up just as the blow is landed and the man doubles
over. The child just giggles as the man moans. His breath is rough
as he tries to get the attention of the mother who just brushes his
hand away from her sleeve. The cashier asks the customer she had
been helping and steps away from the register. She can be seen
moving in and out of multiple camera views hurrying to the manager's
office.
“Ms.
Johnson, there has been an incident. You need to come up front
immediately.”
A
deep sigh can be heard as the manager's shoulders rise and fall
sharply. Without pausing in what she was doing on her phone, Ms.
Johnson can be heard on the recording. Her voice containing none of
the peace and friendliness
“Seriously?
Do I have to do everything? Can't you peons handle the simplest of
problems? Must I do all the thinking and fixing of your little
pissant problems?”
“Ma'am,
a child has assaulted another customer. I can see what me may want
if you would rather get some ice.”
Ms.
Johnson can be seen putting her phone down in frustration on her desk
and standing up aggressively. “You get the ice. I can't allow you
to give away the whole place because of one little love tap. Get the
ice and don't screw it up.”
Ms.
Johnson can be seen moving through the camera views as she marches to
the front of the deli. She can be seen moving through the door that
separates the employee area from the section customers are free to
roam in. She takes one look at the man still catching his breath and
standing in a stooped posture. Her voice is full of contempt and
arrogance as she speaks.
“What
has happened here?”
The
man's speech is breathy and full of pain. “That child punched me.
Hit me in the family jewels. I just had a vasectomy and that region
is very tender.”
On
the recording the attacked man can be seen pointing to the
inattentive mother and assaultive child. Ms. Johnson looks in the
indicated direction. She practically runs to the mother that still
hasn't looked away from her phone. Everyone in the courtroom is
shocked as Ms. Johnson gives the mentally absent mother a hug. The
people on the screen freeze again as the lawyer once again pauses the
playback.
“Ms.
Johnson, would you please inform the court who that woman is to you?”
The
witness stammers for a second before replying in a quivering voice.
“She, she is my sister.”
“Then
the child that injured my client would be?”
“My
niece.”
The
lawyer winks at his client and smiles. “With that cleared up, why
don't we let the recording continue?”
Motion
returns to the screen once again. Ms. Johnson's excited voice comes
over the speakers. “Sister, what brings you to my restaurant
today? And how is little Julie this week? Growing like a weed still
I see.”
The
mother, without looking up from her phone, replies, “Hey there
sister. I was doing some shopping when Julian wanted some lunch and
we thought you could give us something from your little place here.”
A
giggle bubbles from the direction of the young attacker. Ms. Johnson
looks down as the little girl giggles again and points in the
direction of the her human punching bag. The cashier had returned
with a bag of ice that the man was holding gently against his groin.
A tiny voice happily says, “That man is silly.”
Ms.
Johnson pats her niece on the head affectionately. “And what did
the silly man do?”
More
giggles. “He made a funny sound when I hit him. He acted like the
people in the silly videos.”
The
child's mother finally looks down at her offspring. “Dearie, you
know you aren't supposed to do things like that.”
Ms.
Johnson takes in the whole scene. With a huff she puts her hands on
her hips. “Don't worry about it. I'll handle him. Maybe a free
side or something will fix him up.”
The
lawyer freezes the screen one final time. He nods to the bailiff who
rolls the monitor out of the courtroom. “Now Ms. Johnson, I say
again, did you plan on leaving here feeling like you bamboozled all
of us?”
Thank you for giving this little impulse write a read. Please let me know what you think here on the blog or at my Facebook page.
