Who Is Snoke?

Since the day Star Wars:  The Force Awakens was released into theaters, people have been guessing and publicly theorizing on the true identity of the dark Supreme Leader Snoke.  Some claim to prove that Darth Vader survived his funeral pyre and became Snoke.  Others claim it to be Darth Sidious/Emperor Palpatine, wounded when he survived the destruction of the second Death Star.  More still offer up facts that support the despised Jar Jar Binks as the one behind the holographic projection of Snoke.

I have an idea of my own.  It is supported by as much evidence as any of the other theories floating around out there.  The true identity of Supreme Leader Snoke is none other than Gaston from Beauty and The Beast.  Below are the facts that lead me to think this.

Snoke's wounds.  Gaston could easily have received head wounds like those seen on Snoke as he fell from Beast's castle.  His pale coloring could also be explained by some time spent exposed to the snow and cold waters present after the battle at the castle.

The Force.  Gaston's inability to use The Force would not be a handicap.  Nowhere is it shown that Snoke is able to use The Force.  He leads those under him with a strong hand and a drive that gets them to willingly follow him blindly.  Gaston has shown a similar ability to get others to follow him without anyone considering their own actions.

Size.  Gaston has a huge ego and sense of entitlement.  If he were to use a holographic system to communicate with his underlings, that projection would certainly be of considerable size.  The immensity of Snoke's image would only be fitting for a self-image as large as Gaston has.  After one view of Gaston's arms collection in his hunting lodge, is a weapon the size of a planet powered by a sun really much of a stretch?

Getting around.  All the different worlds in Disney's universe are interconnected.  This can be seen with the occasional appearance of characters from one area in another.  The methods are further exploited by Sora and others in the Kingdom Hearts video games.  With the recent inclusion of the worlds of Star Wars into the enveloping arms of Disney, it's not impossible to imagine a manner of transportation from the village Belle and Gaston lived in to the planetary weapon in The Force Awakens.

Are there any connection between Gaston and Snoke I missed?  Do you have an issue with one of the reasons I listed?  Is there someone you think would fit the bill better?  Leave a comment and let me know.